Monday, April 25, 2005

Caricature Flaw

OK. I know that I meet many of the "standard" criteria to be a surgeon as far as docs go. I'm a white male, in my 40s, pretty damn conservative, get up early, work late, and I'm pretty "Type A." So, when patients make some assumptions about me, they are generally right. Except about one thing.

I don't golf.

Not only do I not golf, I don't even "get" golf. I love football, hockey, skiing, and lacrosse, but the allure of hitting a small ball several hundred yards and somehow willing it to go into a small hole in the ground is lost on me. I don't dislike golfers, and it seems like they enjoy themselves quite a bit on the course. More power to them!

But, when a patient expresses shock that I will operate on them on a Wednesday afternoon, stating "I thought all doctors golfed on Wednesdays," I start to see red. Usually, their surprise is stated earnestly, as they honestly believe that mid-week golfing is the norm for every surgeon. To make matters worse, when I explain to them that I happen to work Wednesdays, their next assumption is that I must take off every Thursday afternoon to golf. Uh-uh. Nope. Sorry. I work Monday through Friday, at least 1 out of every three weekends, and throw in there at least 5 nights of trauma call per month. That leaves little time for family, much less several hours on the golf course.

I guess I should give in, start wearing these to work, and respond to such questions with "How 'bout a Fresca?"