Start hoarding -- water, food, gold, ammo, anything you can get your hands on. Make sure your home is as defensible as possible. Buy a Street Sweeper. Get on your knees and pray. The apocalypse is upon us:
Astros one win away from World Series
While that may be enough to kickstart earthquakes, roil the oceans, and initiate generalized mayhem, take a look at who cracked college football's top ten list for the first time in 28 years --- a sure sign that either the second coming is upon us, or the sun is about to go dormant:
While that may be enough to kickstart earthquakes, roil the oceans, and initiate generalized mayhem, take a look at who cracked college football's top ten list for the first time in 28 years --- a sure sign that either the second coming is upon us, or the sun is about to go dormant:
The Top 25 teams in The Associated Press college football poll, with first-place votes in parentheses, records through Oct. 15, total points based on 25 points for a first-place vote through one point for a 25th-place vote, and previous ranking:
| Record | Pts | Pvs | |
| 1. USC (57) | 6-0 | 1,617 | 1 |
| 2. Texas (8) | 6-0 | 1,566 | 2 |
| 3. Virginia Tech | 6-0 | 1,495 | 3 |
| 4. Georgia | 6-0 | 1,426 | 5 |
| 5. Alabama | 6-0 | 1,306 | 6 |
| 6. Miami | 5-1 | 1,279 | 7 |
| 7. LSU | 4-1 | 1,201 | 10 |
| 8. UCLA | 6-0 | 1,085 | 12 |
| 9. Notre Dame | 4-2 | 1,020 | 9 |
| 10. Texas Tech | 6-0 | 1,007 | 13 |
Lord, help us. My alma mater in the top ten and the only baseball team I ever rooted for in my childhood, both in a position to do great things. I'm not sure what will be worse -- the massive MI I'll suffer if Tech beats Texas, or the stroke I'll have if the Astros win the World Series.
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