Monday, November 09, 2009

Are You With Me, Dr. Woo?

Are you with me Doctor Wu?
Are you really just a shadow of the man that I once knew?
Are you crazy? Are you high? Or just an ordinary guy?
Have you done all you can do?
Are you with me Doctor?
Are you with me Doctor Wu?
Are you really just a shadow of the man that I once knew?
She is lovely - yes she's sly - and you're an ordinary guy
Has she finally got to you?
Can you hear me Doctor?

Great song. Gotta love a band named for a huge metal, er, "marital aid." And, just because I can, I'll take some spelling liberties with Dr. Wu for this post.


I missed out on the big medical blogger convocation in Las Vegas a few weeks ago. No disrespect, but.....I got a better offer. From SWIMBO. She offered to let me take her to Santa Fe for a few days, and well, a few days of relaxation, wine, and good food with my wife sounded better than casinos and meeting halls.

The weather was spectacular, the town (as always) charming and interesting, and the food was fabulous (especially the Coyote Cafe and The Compound). But in Santa Fe, there is always a side show --- a collection of woo providers that would make Orac's head spin. Acupuncture, iron cleanse detox footbaths, BodyTalk Systems, Myers cocktails, Prolotherapy, Raindrop Technique®, resonance repatterning, colon hydrotherapy, quantum stilus, Reiki, blood chemistry analysis, doctors of Oriental medicine, ....... all taking themselves with a degree of seriousness usually seen only in Wall Street bankers investing their own money. Forget Orac, my head was spinning.

Who are these con-men practitioners? They have such fabulous titles!
  • Reiki Master Practitioner & Teacher, Movement facilitator, Body worker, Visionary, Intuitive Spiritual Coach and Healer
  • Doctor of Oriental Medicine
  • Chiropractor, BodyTalk Practitioner, Yoga Therapist
  • Certified in Family Medicine and Integrative Holistic Medicine
  • Reflexologist
  • Yellow Moon Readings & Gentle Healing Bodywork
  • Energy Medicine
  • Brain Dynamics
  • Prosperity Coach, Resonance Repatterning, Deeply Nourishing Energy Healing
  • Ceremonial Song Circles
  • Sacred Shamanic Healing
  • Holistic Financial Planning "When more than money matters"
  • ThetaHealing Instructor and Practitioner
  • Biological Dentist
Driving around town, it struck me that at the time, the US Congress was considering a sweeping change in the way we provide medical care in this country. I think anyone that reads this blog knows where I stand on this, so I won't belabor the point. But it is interesting that the parking lots of these shysters practitioners were uniformly filled with cars festooned with Obama stickers. This begs a few questions:
Are these folks spending their hard-earned cash on quackery instead of health insurance or evidence-based medical care? Do they expect that hard working Americans elsewhere feel a strong desire to be taxed to help them continue this type of behavior? And are they hoping --- actually, expecting --- that these types of "therapies" will be covered by the train wreck known as Obamacare?
The answers, in order, would appear to be Yes, Yes, and, You Betcha! As far as the last question is concerned, this type of language is just the beginning of an blitzkrieg against a century of progressively improving medical care that would make Erwin Rommel proud ---
Neither the Commissioner nor any health insurance issuer offering health insurance coverage through the Exchange shall discriminate in approving or covering a health care service on the basis of its religious or spiritual content if expenditures for such a health care service are allowable as a deduction under 213(d) of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986, as in effect on January 1, 2009.
For those of you who were absolutely certain that the government would only be covering care that is "evidence-based," the joke's on you. The only thing that is certain is that the government is planning to decrease healthcare spending by rationing access to costly care. Seeing a ThetaHealing Instructor or Practitioner or Integrative Holistic Medicine Practitioner is cheap in comparison to an oncologist or cardiac surgeon!

You know how all of those helpful websites, books, and daytime TV talk show hosts recommend that you write down all of your questions before seeing a physician. With the help of Steely Dan, here are a few you may need to keep in mind in the future:
  1. Are you with me Doctor Woo?
  2. Are you really just a shadow of the doctor that I once knew used to see?
  3. Are you crazy? Are you high? Or just an ordinary guy (with no medical degree except one that came from a online training course)?
  4. Have you done all you can do? I mean, wouldn't it be a good idea for my "blood analysis" to be done by, oh, I don't know, a freaking pathologist?!!
  5. Are you with me Doctor? Because it seems to me that the touch therapy, Reiki, and colon hydrotherapy you prescribed really have nothing to do with my fill in the blank diabetes/hypertension/melanoma/etc.

I choose to ignore the woo, and those that keep trying to ram it down our throats in the name of "inclusiveness" in health care -- and I'll stick with the words of an interesting man who wrote a few thought-provoking books a few decades ago.

"We have now sunk to a depth where the restatement of the obvious is the duty of intelligent men"

- George Orwell.